the LGBTQA resource center made a lil typo, i fixed it
*rolls eyes into oblivion*
And DONT erase ally either!
no just erase the ally
erase all the ally
being an ally is not a sexual orientation or a way of life that is discriminated against
so just erase the ally
Being an ally is like being a parent at a sporting event. Like yes great, you know those people on the field and you care about them but you are not playing the game you are not the one who is going to get hurt you have no stakes you personally do not ‘win’ anything so changing the A to ally is like a parent running out onto a field after a big game, ripping the trophy away from the child and being like:
LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I WON! I WON THE GAME! ME IT WAS ALL ME YOU GUYS COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT ME!!!!!!
and that is just plain silly.
You know what, no. It’s not like that. It’s not like that at all. Figuring out that I was bisexual was a bitch and a half, and it was just as hard on my sister as it was on me because she was the one to hold my hand while I was doubting myself, she was the one to tell me it was going to be okay and I was fine the way I was, she was the one to reassure me that no matter what happened I was still me and that was all that mattered. My pain was her pain, she stayed by me and she supported me and she sat with me through hours of research and introspection and self-realization, and I could not have sorted it all out without her.
And now, years later, when she’s sitting here confessing in whispers that she thinks she may be asexual, it’s my turn to be here for her, to help her through the research, to hold her hand, because she is terrified of what this could do to her eight-year-long relationship, I’m finally fully appreciating for the first time just how much love and strength it took for her to be my ally when I needed her, back when she thought she was just a hetero-normative female and I was the one in crisis. Because holy fuck, it’s not easy watching someone you love being scared about their whole identity and knowing that there’s no way in hell you can just make it go away. Even if you’ve been in their shoes before it’s actually pretty fucking scary.
So seriously, do not erase the asexuals OR the allies. It’s not easy being either. And I will gladly stand up to anyone who tries to deny EITHER of the A’s… on my sister’s behalf.
How dare you. How fucking dare you. Do you have any idea how important allys are? You must be so fucking privileged that you have the utmost confidence in yourself that you can face all the hate on your own, that you can come out to whom ever you so desire and not need someone to hold you at night and tell you that everything is okay, you aren’t some monster that should be put down, that you are a person who needs and deserves love. I’m so glad you are so lucky. But I have news for you. Most of us? We don’t have that confidence. For a whole fucking lot of us, without our allies, we wouldn’t be able to accept ourselves. We would hate ourselves and live in fear and confusion.
For me in particular? If I didn’t have my allies, I would be dead. There is no maybe. So don’t you DARE undermine the importance of being an ally and don’t you DARE undermine the dangers that allies face just for being “okay” with someone who isn’t cis-gendered. Nothing about you makes you so special that you are somehow better than the people who accept us for who we are no matter what and keep us alive. Who love us and keep us safe from ourselves and the hurtful words of others. Nothing.
Add Asexuals. They deserve to be represented. But don’t you fucking DARE erase Allies and treat them like they are nothing.
This is the most ridiculous argument I’ve ever seen on the subject. It’s not about being “Better” than anyone else. It’s about making sure sexual minorities are represented.
The “A” stands for Asexual, not Ally. Allies are not a sexual minority.
Yes, allies are important. But EVERYONE should be an ally. That’s what the LGBTQIA movement is about, promoting acceptance.
It seems to me that more people disregard Asexuals and Intersexed than Allies. Asexuals are more mythical than Bisexuals. And Intersex, though rare, is only now becoming part of the conversation.
In my opinion, the little league comparison is appropriate. Allies are like parents and fans cheering from the stands, which is really important. Without the support of the fans, the players are pointless. But the players are the focus here, not the audience which, like an ally, has the privilege to come and go at will.
True allies, like all good friends, know that they are not the star of the show. They don’t need a gold star for doing the right thing. I will always value our allies. Without allies, the LGBTQIA movement would not have gotten far. We’d still be hiding in the closet. We’d still be sneaking down dark alleys to hidden bars with vice cops waiting to arrest us. Without allies, same-sex marriage would hardly be a dream. Allies are vital to every movement. But we’re not fighting for ally rights. We are fighting for sexual minority rights.
Think of it this way. I consider myself an ally to *POC. But Black folks are better served by me if I stand by their side while they take the podium. It’s not about me. I don’t get a gold star for doing the right thing.
- *Note: I use the term POC (People Of Color) instead of African Americans here because not all non-whites are from Africa.