Since it’s Christmas we wanted to tell a Jesus-y lil bible-y story that illustrates that the world IS and always was a con job. Back in Jesus’s time one of the things he got famous for was tossing all the pigs out of the temples who were selling shit and money-lending. The people selling shit were selling animals to sacrifice to God and the money changers were loaning money so you could buy the animals to sacrifice. Think it’s in Mathew if you care to look it up.
Anyway, in the old testament you have to sacrifice shit for blessings or to make yourself clean again or to atone for being gross. It’s gotta be skin off your ass to get blessed or cleaned or forgiven by God and animals were one of the most valuable portable commodities, so sacrificing animals was definitely skin off your ass. And the old testament basically lists what to sacrifice like a goat or sheep if you want whatever blessing or cleansing and surely tons of that shit wasn’t IN the bible, the priests at the temple would tell you what you needed to buy or bring to sacrifice. If you were poor and couldn’t afford a goat or didn’t have one, they said God would accept a lesser sacrifice equivalent to a sheep like a bunch of birds or whatever. SO, if you didn’t have enough money to buy the birds or sheep to sacrifice you went to the banker loan-shark pig and he’d loan you the money. Then you’d go buy the shit to sacrifice and end up being indebted to the lender because you never get shit paid off. It’s the same as it is now only now you get some garbage trinkets to take home after you spend your “disposable” income. And like it is now, this was all SUCH a scam designed to fleece the masses of their money. You HAD to sacrifice shit to be clean again so you had to pay for shit and if you were poor or tryna save & build up some wealth you were fucked because you always had to sacrifice shit and it’s expensive.
So, when Jesus saw what was going down in the temples he went nuts and was like GET THE F*CK OUT PIGS! He started tossing over tables and shaming the shit out of the bankers/loan sharks, which btw are the same thing. If your Dad was a loan shark and your brother was a banker you know it’s the same job, one is just “legitimate”. Anyway, after he was like, OUT PIGS, this is when the power players of the time started to take more notice of him. And it’s why they killed him. He fucked with their money and was like WOW GROSS, con job, you should be ashamed! YOU EVIL PIG F*CKS I HATE YOU! (we may or may not be paraphrasing here)
The priests in the temples were also in on this scam they were the ones who let those fuckers set up in the temple (there was no distinction between priests or rabbis then, Jesus was a jew, there were no Christians yet) The loan sharks and animal sellers were like in the front area before you got into the inner sanctum. The priest pigs who ran the temple would eat and feast on the animals that were sacrificed. Some sacrifices they weren’t allowed to eat but others they were and those pigs ate like KINGS.
It’s really incredible how the right have tried to hijack Jesus and destroy his message and have made people hate him in the process. They ARE the Sadducees and Pharisees. The fuckers who got TOSSED out of the temple. THEY were the real atheists, the bad kind. People who like socialist ideals should LOVE Jesus. It should be Jesus NOT Marx! Jesus was first and it was about not being a pig and everyone treating each other well, Marx just made it about the working class running everything. Now equality and the law is the modern religion. They have tried to impose morality by law instead of by culture. Jesus says … how about don’t be pigs, consider each other not just yourself, you all should help one another. Socialism tries to impose that through law and it fails. The state becomes the power instead of people just not behaving like animals. We NEED laws absolutely of course but there are TONS of laws that are AWFUL for TONS of people. Laws are worked around NON-stop because pigs dream up ways to adhere to the law while violating the spirit of it. And we’ve created corruptible institutions to enforce these laws instead of making not being an animal me-pig a priority in our society. Jesus was like how about trying to NOT be gross and run over each other like trucks just because you can!
Peace on Earth. Good Will toward Human kind. It’s as good an idea now as it was then.